You may have heard the saying, “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
Making deals that only meet the needs of one party doesn’t make the cut anymore. This mindset no longer speaks to the values of an evolving society — one that recognizes that collaboration creates sustainable and scalable success. Creative collaboration, investing in values-based community and developing deals that benefit all parties are next-level ways to grow a business versus the churn-and-burn tactics of old paradigm thinking.
For example, let’s look at agile software solutions, which are not just a new trend — they’re the future. Today’s hunger for agility doesn’t just apply to software, it applies to the very deals themselves. No longer do we settle for the one-shot zero-sum game. It’s the mark of a dying industry or society to believe that a system in which only one party walks away a winner is a sustainable strategy, particularly as regards the larger ecosystem.
Collaboration helps ensure systemic health.
Collaboration is “the action of working with someone to produce or create something.” Effective collaboration can increase your chances of crafting spectacular win-win arrangements, transactions and deals. Collaborative leaders should act as connectors. It starts with reaching out and expanding your network. The next step is to listen.
A friend’s grandfather exemplifies the importance of listening: He owned a chain of grocery stores throughout the Southeast. Whenever he’d visit a new city where he was planning on opening a store, he’d attend numerous events. Whenever he met anyone, he’d ask them about themselves. After each event, he’d notate their names and pertinent information in a little black book. He really cared about people and wanted them to feel seen.
The next time he would visit that town, he’d review his book, and if he ran into a prior contact, he’d jump right in: “How is your sweet mama doing? Did Bailey get into Auburn? And how about that deal with 3M? How’s that affecting your supply chain?” People adored him for it. And his business thrived.
When it comes to networking, seek to understand and be generous.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten on the phone with marketing firms, branding agencies, startups and VCs, and simply answered their questions. In these situations, I offer to connect them; I offer to help them — without asking for anything in return.
There was a framed quote that hung in my family home, “Life is for service.” After all, isn’t service collaboration? So, how can you serve? Find a path to help other people win, and you all succeed.
In sales, put yourself in the buyer’s shoes: Seek to understand. Devise win-win strategies. Don’t give up on people; nurture them, and be a resource for them. They will circle back when the time is right. This has happened again and again with my own sales — not only within my network but with those to whom they refer me.
Ask yourself, “What else can I bring to the table?” If you’re selling to a certain industry and it would help to bring in a subject matter expert on that particular vertical, don’t hesitate to do so. If you’re not a strong negotiator, reach out to someone who is to help you close the deal. Don’t be afraid to work strategically and in tandem with others to accomplish common goals.
Working in silos benefits no one. Be generous. Share knowledge. Share ideas. Share contacts. Build trust. It’s always worth hearing someone out. You never know how you might be able to serve or support them — or where that might come back to you down the road.
For example, my fiancé had a program he called “Coffee with Strangers” or “The Karmic Approach to Sales” that he used faithfully for a decade. When anyone in the area sent him a LinkedIn request, he’d reply, “I don’t add anyone to my network without first meeting them. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and learn about you.” And he did — answering questions, making connections and seeking to serve, all of which ultimately helped generate substantial revenue for his company.
Change your mindset — change the game.
Building effective collaboration skills starts with changing your mindset: Ask how you can be of service without looking for anything in return.
Concentrate on:
• Building consensus.
• Seeking allies.
• Creating personal and authentic connections.
• Practicing the “golden rule”: treating others how you’d like to be treated.
• Building trust.
• Being impeccable with your world and prioritizing integrity.
Practice tactical empathy.
Don’t forget there’s a human being sitting on the other side of the negotiation table. In my training as a professional coach and in my study of human relationships, I learned an invaluable tool called Imago Dialogue. Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen L. Hunt, Imago Dialogue has been used by couples counselors and companies alike. The three essential parts of the dialogue are:
• Mirror.
• Validate.
• Empathize.
Can you see how this process could strengthen the relationship on either side of the negotiation table?
Lastly, remember that collaboration is fun. It’s more enjoyable to work with people instead of against them. Look for opportunities instead of setbacks. Challenges become puzzles to be solved instead of insurmountable obstacles.
We can accomplish far more with a collaborative mindset than by staying in our own defensive positions, reinforcing our silos and going it alone. At the end of the day, how do you want to be known as a business, brand or industry? Do you want to go quickly alone, or do you want to go farther together?